SOVEREIGN INDIAN: This is the Chicken’s inherent right as he is indigenous
to this land!!!
MILITANT INDIAN: That chicken should block the road, not cross the road!!!
GRASSROOTS INDIAN: If the darn chickens need to get across the road, let ’em cross the darn road!
COLONIZED INDIAN: Chiggens should never cross the roads that white men built before the great white father crosses it first. If the white father crosses it, it is good. We must then follow.
AMERICANIZED INDIAN: We must have roads. We must cross the roads that the white man built for us. We have to be thankful to the white man for this. I don’t know why you Indians are always complaining. You embarrass us. Roads are good for us.
REPUBLICAN INDIAN: It’s true that white man built those roads for us. We are merely chickens. We will always be chickens until we learn to build those roads ourselves — for profit.
DEMOCRATIC INDIAN: The chicken crossed the road because it didn’t have enough funding.
TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren’t traditional because they were supposed to be on it – not crossing it!
INDIAN GRANDPA: I think it was runnin away from rezidential school.
URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed the road ’cause it was a city, man. You know what I mean?
NEW AGE INDIAN: It was basically because of Jungian dream therapy, drumming, sweatlodges, my shaman, and long walks on the beach, near my beach house.
POW WOW INDIAN: That chicken must have been heading to a 49! Hey yah ho!
EDUCATED INDIAN: I think it has to do with Einstein’s Theory of Relatives which basically posits: “Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?”
REZ INDIAN: What road?
IHS INDIAN: I really don’t care why it crossed that road. We still aren’t
paying for no stinkin’ hospital bills.
BIA INDIAN: It crossed it because CFR 49, Section 11299, article 5C, line 12 grants it the authority to do so. It wrote a grant and we funded them. We are very proud of that chicken!
KFC INDIAN: I’ll take a leg, a thigh, with corn and potatoes. Extra Crispy, please.
TRIBAL INDIAN COUNCIL: The chicken crossed the road before we did? Fire his family!!!
CASINO INDIAN: That’s my favorite slot!